Hello
I’m working the counter and walk by a customer)
Me: Good morning!
Customer: Why are you saying hello to me?!?! I don’t do that social media shit.
I’m working the counter and walk by a customer)
Me: Good morning!
Customer: Why are you saying hello to me?!?! I don’t do that social media shit.
Customer: Someone told me you have crab legs on sale.
Me: Yep! The snow crab right here.
Customer: Give me 2 clusters.
Customer: Now give me 2 more.
(I grab two more clusters and put it in the bag.)
Customer: I want it in a separate bag!
Me: Okay. You didn’t say that. It’s no problem.
Customer: Give me two more.
Me: In a different bag?
Customer: No! Same damn bag! I want some of there crabs over here.
Me: that’s a different crab. It’s not on sale.
Customer: Okay. Give me these.
Me: Those are lobster claws. Not crab. You still want them?
Customer: Yeah. Put them together with the other ones.
Me: I can’t bag them together, they’re different prices.
Customer: They’re going different places. These are going to someone. These are going with me. Put them together.
Me: I can’t bag them together. They’re different products with different prices.
Customer:I didn’t ask you to bag them together! Jesus Christ! Put them together.
(I set them together.)
Customer: Okay they’re together.
(He picks up the two bags in separate hands. )
Customer: How the hell are they together?!?! If I can do this?!?
(He separates the bags of crab legs to demonstrate that they are, indeed, separate bags.)
Me: How do you want me to put them together?
Customer: Jesus! Staple them! When I go to the hospital, they staple things together.
Me: I don’t have a stapler back here!
Customer: Whatever.
(He storms off. )
Customer: You took an order for me for a Turkey for Christmas. It wasn’t waiting for me when I came to pick it up.
Me: Oh my god, I’m so sorry. So you didn’t get a turkey?!
Customer: No. I got one. He (pointing to my coworker) had to get one out of the case.
Me: So you got a Turkey? Was it the right size?
Customer: No, I got one. But you didn’t have it waiting on me.
Me: I’m sorry, ma’am. I just take the order, I didn’t fill any this year. (I’m struggling, trying to figure out how to apologize for her “getting a turkey.” )
Coworker: Ma’am. It wasn’t forgotten. I found it right after you left, I just couldn’t find it in the moment.
The customer grumbles and walks away.
Customer: My wife sent me to pick up some smoked salmon that has sauce with it.
Me: Um….I don’t think any of the ones I carry come with a sauce.
Customer: Hold on.
(He calls his wife, talks, and hangs up the phone.)
Customer: She said it’s here.
Me: I don’t see any that say anything about a sauce.
Customer: Here you talk to her.
(He pulls out his cell phone, dials, and puts the phone to my ear without talking to his wife.)
Me: Um….hello?
Wife: Who the hell is this?!
Me: I’m Andy from Chambers Supermarket. Your husband said you were looking for a specific type of smoked salmon?
Wife: Why the hell am I talking to you?!
Me: I guess your husband wanted me to get some more details? Like a brand name or something?
Wife: I’m hanging up now!
(She hangs up. I hand the phone back. He walks away.)
Customer: I ordered 3 trimmed and tied tenderloins. Name is Jones.
(I look in the back. I don’t see the tenderloins.)
Me: I’m sorry ma’am. It looks like it didn’t get done. Give us like 10 minutes and we’ll have it for you.
Customer: (rolling eyes) fine.
(We scramble around and start trimming tenderloins. We get the first one done, and she comes back.)
Customer: Sorry. I meant two small rib roasts. THAT’S what I ordered.
(I go into the back and grab the two rib roasts that were waiting on her.)
Customer: I’m here to pick up lobsters I ordered. Name’s Smith.
Me: Yes ma’am. I’ll get them for you.
Customer: Check them. Make sure they’re not dead. I got a dead one last time.
Me: Yes ma’am.
(I hand her her lobsters)
Customer: A month ago, I got bad shrimp.
Me: I’m sorry that happened.
Customer: How can I guarantee that doesn’t happen again?
Me: Um….we can let you smell them?
Customer: Fine. Why can’t I buy tomahawk pork chops here?!
Me: I have them out here.
Customer: I used to buy them out of here.
Me: Yes, ma’am, but they change what we put under the glass. It depends on the time of year or if there’s a holiday. I’ve got tomahawks right here.
Customer: I like to pick them out.
Me: They’re individually wrapped. You can still pick them out.
Customer: I like the ones under the glass.
Me: These are the same ones.
Customer: You can’t get good service anywhere anymore!
Customer: Stuffing?
Me: Right behind you on that display.
Customer: Perfect. Turkey?
Me: I’m all out.
Customer: Where the hell am I supposed to put this stuffing?!
Customer: Its bullshit that you have to work today.
Me: Thanks, but it’s not too bad.
Customer: Let me get a pound of shrimp.
Me: Here ya go.
Customer: So sorry that inconsiderate people make you work today.
Customer: Where are you hiding your turkeys?
Me: I’m all out.
Customer: You are aware today is thanksgiving?
Me: I am. I’m sorry.
(He snorts and walks away)
Customer: I’m not seeing your turkeys out here.
Me: I’m sorry. I’m all out.
Customer: …
Me: …
Customer: …
Me: …
Customer: My wife is gonna kill me.
Customer: Um….turkeys?
Me: I’m all out.
Customer: People eat turkey on thanksgiving.
Me: I’m sorry.
Customer: But….thanksgiving?
Phone rings)
Me: Meat department, this is Andy. How can I help you?
Customer: You got any turkeys left?
Me: No, sir. I’m sorr…..
Customer: Mother fuc….. (he hangs up mid word)
Customer: Where are your turkey breasts?
Me: I’m all out.
Customer:Um…it’s thanksgiving.
Customer: Your meat looks so much better here than at your other stores!
Me: Thank you. I appreciate you saying that.
Customer: I literally have three stores closer to me, but I come here because this is the best! Literally the only reason I come in your front door is to get a steak.
Me: Do you want a steak today?
Customer: Nope!
Customer (comes to the counter on his cell phone) I want some of these Cajun chicken wings!
Me: Sure. How much do you need?
Customer: I AM ON THE PHONE!!!!
(I open the bag, put 1 chicken wing flat in it, wrap it up, set it on the counter, walk away.)
Customer: (Looking at the package after he hangs up) What the hell?!
Customer: This coho salmon is pretty cheap.
Me: Yeah, it’s a good price.
Customer: That’s cause coho salmon is salmon bred with eels.
Me: Um…no, ma’am. It’s…uh…a type of salmon.
Customer: Nope. I heard a podcast!
Customer: I want four of the blue crabs. (Pointing)
I want this one….
Me: I can’t see through the case to wear you’re pointing.
Customer: I know. (Pointing) This one.
Me: This one?
Customer: No. Come forward.
(I grab the one she wants)
Customer: (pointing)I want this one.
Me: I can’t see where you’re pointing.
Customer: I know. (Points) This one. Third from the front.
Me: Okay.
Customer: (pointing) This one.
Me: I can’t tell which one you’re pointing at.
Customer: (pointing) I know.
Customer: Three ribeyes. I want the biggest.
(I weigh them up.)
Customer: Are those the biggest?
Me: They’re all cut about the same size, but I grabbed the ones that looked a little bigger.
Customer: (rolling eyes) If you say so.
Me: (holding up package) I mean, you can have whatever ones you want.
(He picks three. I weigh them up.)
Customer: Wait that’s not as much!!!
Me: Yeah, the ones I chose ended up half a pound heavier. Do you want the ones I chose? Or the ones you chose?
Customer: …yours.
Me: Have a nice day!
Me: How can I help you?
Customer: HAHAHA!! No holiday for you!
Me:....
Me: How can I help you?
Customer: (Moving the “Buy 1 Get 1 Free” sign out of the way to pick up a pork tenderloin) Is this the pork tenderloin buy one get one free?