It’s in the bag

Customer: Someone told me you have crab legs on sale.

Me: Yep! The snow crab right here.

Customer: Give me 2 clusters.

Customer: Now give me 2 more.

(I grab two more clusters and put it in the bag.)

Customer: I want it in a separate bag!

Me: Okay. You didn’t say that. It’s no problem.

Customer: Give me two more.

Me: In a different bag?

Customer: No! Same damn bag! I want some of there crabs over here.

Me: that’s a different crab. It’s not on sale.

Customer: Okay. Give me these.

Me: Those are lobster claws. Not crab. You still want them?

Customer: Yeah. Put them together with the other ones.

Me: I can’t bag them together, they’re different prices.

Customer: They’re going different places. These are going to someone. These are going with me. Put them together.

Me: I can’t bag them together. They’re different products with different prices.

Customer:I didn’t ask you to bag them together! Jesus Christ! Put them together.

(I set them together.)

Customer: Okay they’re together.

(He picks up the two bags in separate hands. )

Customer: How the hell are they together?!?! If I can do this?!?

(He separates the bags of crab legs to demonstrate that they are, indeed, separate bags.)

Me: How do you want me to put them together?

Customer: Jesus! Staple them! When I go to the hospital, they staple things together.

Me: I don’t have a stapler back here!

Customer: Whatever.

(He storms off. )