Return to sender
(Customer Service Clerk brings back a turkey that was returned. It’s out of the package and has clearly been brined already, so I follow policy and throw it away)
10 minutes later:
Customer: I need a fresh turkey.
Me: I’m sorry I’m all out.
Customer: Are you fucking kidding me?! I just brought my turkey back because it was too big. I want it back!
Me: I’m sorry sir. We have to throw away all the returns. They just dumped my trash into the dumpster.
Customer: So because I bought the wrong size, now I don’t get anything?!